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sometimes the grass is greener when its orange

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[05 Feb 2005|04:45pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Ok. Now I am really going to start using my other Live Journal because I dont really like my username.


So its:



looseleaves__ looseleaves__ looseleaves__
1   It starts with an ending

[04 Feb 2005|09:15pm]
[ mood | happy ]

This week has been very good, but stressful. But I guess with the good comes the bad. And my apathy has helped not wearing down to peoples comments. Although I've been trying to be empathatic towards others, because thats what human emotion is, eh? Its hard though. Over time, my sensativity has disintergrated and I want it back! Anyway..Florida Sunday and I'm so excited and happy. Warmth is good, and I heart it.

Gahh. Me and Chelsa were gonna go to see this show at Hamilton st, but there was a minor problemo so we're going to CTown which shall be fun. I think Sam and her BF are coming. Fun.

2   It starts with an ending

[03 Feb 2005|06:23pm]
There is this boy on m bus names Tommy. He is young, perhaps 8. Evberyday he comes to the back of the bus because he likes the sit with the "big kids". Virtually everyone excpet for Chelsa, Sam, Kelsey and me dislike him and tell him to go away. He ignores their demands and stays in the back. They are intollerably mean to him. They are too blind to notice that he appreciates kindness as everyone does. The meaner they are to him, the more upset he gets, causing him to try to prove himself and stay back with the "big kids". This angers me, the fact that they can be so selfish. I dont know. I've just been hoping for something lately and I dont know what it is.

On a lighter note, I want to chill with Chelsa this weekend and do something. I want to go to a local show or something, but there really isnt any bands playing that I am aware of. Chelsa, IM me if you want to do something and if you have any ideas. Or just talk to me on the bus tomorrow.

Bye, my loves. I have to do my essay. ♥
2   It starts with an ending

Rachel had a grand day today. [02 Feb 2005|10:14pm]
Hello all! I am feeling well and alive! Today was Tates bday and her madre picked us up and we went to hibachi for din din and it was yumtastical and fun. My heart is lighter knowing that the stress of this week will soon disolve and culminate in me leaving for Florida. I havent been home all week and I miss the comfort of the in between. But things are good, and I am feeling like a human. Whatever a human may be. So long my loves.
2   It starts with an ending

[31 Jan 2005|09:27pm]
all this stuff has been happening lately and its all mushed up into one big blur and its sitting on my shoulders weighing me down everytime i take a stride. and every stride i take it gets heavier and heavier and heavier. and at first the weight was almost nothing and i couldnt feel it. but now im sinking down, and im on my knees.

you know when sometimes someone acts a different way around someone? or around different people. what if someone does that constantly, all the time. for all different people. then how would they know what their normal state of being is? how would they know what they actually were? how they were before..

the cold has sarted at my heart, cooling my blood, eating my words, freezing my libms. oh please snow, stop your perpetual spree that ends up at me this time. i am so cold.

more than anything in the world, i dont want to be unhappy. and my fate is up to me, so i should shut up.
2   It starts with an ending

[30 Jan 2005|01:47pm]
i have been talking to chelsa salesman fatalexpression  a lot. we see eye to eye on a lot of things. its nice to have someone like her to talk to. and jordan dahme's father bought a house on my street. im glad shes back here again.
4   It starts with an ending

[30 Jan 2005|01:11pm]
its funny, how one day you're alone. and the next day you're not.
11   It starts with an ending

[27 Jan 2005|06:58pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]

I feel washed out. I feel like I am living in last winter when I felt like death. And I know the real reason and you know I will never say it.

3   It starts with an ending

[27 Jan 2005|12:52pm]
hey all. im in computers and its my last day! i dislike mrs wallace and all but i like computers. im gonna miss pissing off mre wallace and listening to music every day/ listening to meg think out loud. teehee. i have to go now. bye.
It starts with an ending

[21 Jan 2005|10:03pm]
i want a new identity. which is why i have changed my lj name& my aim sn. tired clementine or heart0 core. which do you prefer to be the new me? if i was secure enough, i might have been able to choose.
It starts with an ending

[19 Jan 2005|04:34pm]
Rachel needs to ____________________________

(stop fantasizing and snap back into reality)
It starts with an ending

[16 Jan 2005|03:21pm]













my new username. understood?

It starts with an ending

i dont want nobody else i can do it by myslef [15 Jan 2005|10:04pm]
hey all. yesterday was the first dance of the year. student government (hem hem) ran it and all. it actually was not bad excpet for the ear killing music. (they wouldnt play the sounds....?) yeah. so the djs were asses. but whatever. them came home and watched eternal sunshine. hehehe, i heart that movie. then slept, then rode. then went to buy cds. then got angry because they had no new blood brothers. then came home. found out pj is lame. AGAIN. bandaged him up. came back down. ate. watched maria full of grace. nearly killed parents cause they went to go see closer. poop. now im here. (wow. i actually told everyone a step by step bout my day. havent down that in a while. i dont think) someone im so we can talk. he says disaster. bye.
It starts with an ending

[12 Jan 2005|09:44pm]




2   It starts with an ending

[11 Jan 2005|04:32pm]
ski club is cancelled again! and its snowing! i am so pissed!!!
2   It starts with an ending

[06 Jan 2005|09:18pm]
dude, i want to get something pierced!
It starts with an ending

[01 Jan 2005|09:45pm]
So last night was cool. And I am so happy that its been warm out. The cold makes me so unhappy and empty. The 60 degree weather (YES!) is just what I need. It feels like spring, and I feel alive. Its been so weird lately, im just so tired of a lot of stuff. Like I dont want to be associated with it at all because it reminds me of stuff I dont want to be reminded of. But then I'm reminded of how I lie to myself, which is worse. I just cant stop. I tell myself these things, and I know they cant be true. I tell myself its ok to be alone, and it is, and I like it. But something tells me its the cause, what starts all this crap. And its that stupid kid who I dont want to think about, but I do. God, I hate him! I just cant stop what ifing. I just cant stop thinking about him! I dont want to! And when I tell myself that, that just prevents me from stopping! Lately, I just feel like I want a new purpose. Not that I know what my purpose now is.
It starts with an ending

[30 Dec 2004|09:59pm]
[ mood | cold ]

2004 will be over so soon. It will never be 2004 ever again. Ever. Forever and ever and ever. Isn't that weird? But not really, because everything is like that. Because it will never be this moment ever again. Ever. Forever and ever and ever. Where do these moments go? Can they make up some other place? Its too weird to think about. Because then we mean nothing at all. Each individual is nothing. Because we are one, all the same. People always focus on the differences in people, but really the similarities outnumber the differences by far. So I don't understand why rebellion and other unnamed things and divide us into such different worlds. Because it doesn't make a difference at all. Not one bit. Every kid wants the same thing growing up. Every adult wants to same thing, when you narrow it down. If we were not influenced by anything, how would we be? Would it just be love and fear? Because you cant hide from fear, but certainly you can from love. Poeple do it everyday. And its tough, seeing that. Wondering why people do it. I don't know why, and I bet they don't either.

It starts with an ending

[30 Dec 2004|08:48pm]
1   It starts with an ending

[30 Dec 2004|04:16pm]
I am so irked. 500 songs from my iPod are gone. Yes, gone. Nonexistant on my computer. I now have to import 500 songs. Shit. And I have the flu.
It starts with an ending

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